Wow, well, I did that thing that all would-be module designers do: disappeared without a word for ages and ages and ages. And ages. But I aten’t dead, which is good.
Heh, did you see what I did there?
Okay, so this post is basically the same as my last post. Yes, I took a massive life break and now I’m back to modding again, and I’m sure that’ll be a cycle that continues indefinitely until I am actually dead. Any modules produced will be entirely matter of chance. To be honest, I’ve always accepted the fact that the chance of producing a module at the end of this process was basically negligible so I’m taking the ups and downs of wild enthusiasm, gruelling determined and reckless abandonment pretty much for granted. The internet is scattered with the fossils of discarded modding blogs, but that’s kind of okay. It’s all about the journey, maaaan, the journey.
Weirdly, picking up the pieces has been less painful this time round than last. I don’t know how or why, but I think some pieces clicked into place in my brain while I wasn’t thinking about any of this shit. Or else, I am now ignorant enough that I am no longer capable of comprehending the vastness of my ignorance. Regardless, it’s all feels slightly easier than I remember it being, although my compiler continues to spend most of its time in an unknown state. But that’s part of the fun, right?
I went back and played the damn thing from the beginning, which is actually the first time I’ve done so when I wasn’t also immersed in a particular aspect of the building. And, y’know, I wasn’t horrified. I was even tentatively pleased. Okay, I went through a brief phase of thinking I was awesome. The thing is, I have no objective standard for judging the thing, but it does what I wanted it to do, and there’s lots about it that I personally enjoy. I suppose the thing really surprised me was the lightness of the tone, which is slightly odd considering the uber-emo premise. But I guess without that lightness it would be bleak, and unbearable and tedious. So, yeah, I’m feeling pretty proud of myself, and not even like I wasted hours of my life.
I didn’t hit many game-breaking bugs either, though it’s riddled with minor issues, which is to be expected. But I fixed everything up and generally spring-cleaned. I mean, when I first started I just forced stuff to work without really having much clue what I was doing at all but I’ve learned and developed quite a bit and there going back to the beginning really showed me how much.